Pengumuman

Saya terpaksa update semula blog ini kerana saya dapati masih dikunjungi ramai walau pun dah hampir sebulan saya umumkan blog ini tidak akan diupdate .Saudara/saudari boleh juga ke - mountdweller88.blogspot.com (blog kedua)



Thursday, October 23, 2008

Cite Lucu Halau Pelesit

Tengah hari tadi saya ke bolg freshworkshop.blogspot dan di situ ada cerita yang Sdr. Uxop tuan punya blog bercerita yang orang kampungnya menerima saka berupa pelesit dan menumpang mayat tuannya yang telah seminggu meninggal. Saya titipkan komen ringkas di situ. Walau bagaimana pun bagi saya perkara ini patut dihebahkan kepada ramai demi menjaga akidah umat Islam, maka rasanya elok saya ceritakan versi saya tolong kawan saya bersama menghalau PELESIT yang menumpang di dalam tubuh seorang wanita. Kawan saya ini seorang pengamal Tarekat. Dia akan tolong dengan ikhlas sekiranya sesiapa perlukan pertolongannya

Saya bukanlah seorang dukun yang tahu berubat, cuma kawan saya tadi minta saya memperkuatkan kuasa perdukunan. Saya hanya berzikir dan tumpukan segala pancaindera saya kepada Zat Allah mohon bantuanNya. Memang cara kami berbeza. Sebenarnya saya bukanlah diundang untuk menolongnya tetapi memang kebetulan pada masa pesakit itu datang saya juga sampai ke rumah sahabat ini.

Mengikut pesakit ini, pada suatu hari dia menemui satu bungkusan plastik di celah atap garaj kereta di rumahnya. Dia buka dan di dapati ada bangkai seekor katak puru kering semacam dipanggang. Dia minta suaminya membuang plastik yang mengandungi bangkai katak tadi. Sejak itu badannya lemah dan sakit-sakit.

Kami mulakan dengan sembahyang hajat dan kami sama-sama berzikir. Saya dengan cara saya dan kawan saya itu dengan caranya. Wanita itu dibaringkan berhampiran dengan ditemani suaminya.

Selepas beberapa minit kemudian wanita yang sakit tadi mengerang dan mengaduh. Panas dan sakit macam nak terbakar katanya. Jadi dukun kawan saya tu memerintahkan setan yang ada di dalam tubuh pesakit supaya keluar dan jangan ganggu lagi pesakit itu. Setelah diarah keluar berkali-kali tetapi setan itu tetap degil tak mahu keluar dan tidak boleh balik kononnya takut mak dia marah. Kami terus desak setan tu keluar, degil lagi dan itulah alasan dia berkali-kali tidak mahu keluar takut maknya marah.

Akhrinya saya sudah naik juak dengan helah dan kerenah setan tadi, lalu saya pula ambil tempat dekat dengan pesakit dan saya ugut "Kau mesti keluar dan tinggalkan wanita ini, kalau kau degil aku akan makan kamu dengan mak kamu sekali. Aku bagi kamu 30 saat sebelum aku makan kamu dan mak kamu, aku pun lapar ni". Tiba-tiba sisakit/setan tadi menjerit "Tolong jangan makan, jangan makan.... aku dah nak balik ni. Aku tak mahu mak aku mati kau makan!. Aku tak mahu tumpang dia lagi". Selepas itu pesakit itu terus sedar.

Kawan saya, saya dan isteri saya ketawa geli hati mendengar rintihan setan tadi. Rupanya kawan saya tadi ketawa adalah atas sebab lain. Kawan saya ketawa kerana mendengar ugutan saya terhadap setan tadi. Katanya tidak pernah lagi dukun yang mengugut nak makan setan tetapi sebaliknya setan yang ugut nak makan dukun tu adalah.

Saya pun bukanya rancang nak ugut begitu, cuma bila saya naik bosan dan naik marah dengan helah serta dalih setan tadi maka timbullah ugutan dengan sepontan dan kasar. Kononnya kita lebih kuat dari dia. Nasib baiklah juga setan tu betul-betul takut dan mengalah.

Wallahu Aklam.

144 comments:

  1. haha! betul lawak bang..dulu sorang budak lelaki 17 tahun penah kene rasuk..camtu jugaklah..sbb boring sngt saya suruh hantu tu keluar dari badan dan bertumbuk dengan saya tengah padang..hantu yg beraksi melalui budak tu tunduk je tak berkata2..apsal dia takut pulak?aku bengang pasal masa tu dah pukul 3 pagi..nak balik tido esok nak kerja..hihi!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Memang setan ni jenis makhluk bodoh tahap dewa!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Assalamualaikum Pakcik Din..
    Sememangnya syaitan suka melengahkan masa supaya kita cepat berputus asa dan itu akan mmbuatkn kita mengalah cepat..Hanya org yg kuat semangat saja akan dpt mengalah syaitan.
    Cerita Pakcik Din ni lah yg pertama kali sy dgr selama sy pernah tgk org membuang saka..
    Terima kasih sbb tulis cerita tentang ini utk pengetahuan kami..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kalau pakai Listerine, gamaknye setan tu nak kot!

    ReplyDelete
  5. salam tuan,
    nie kes nak mkn setan first time dengar niehh..pasni kalo lalu jln mersing area hutan lipur(hati2 kat bukit panjang) kalo kene kacauu..den nk guna ayat nie lah.."haaa sape kacau aku nak drive aku kunyah sekor2 mcm makan ubi"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hehehe...uncle memang terror lah!! Hebatlah kalo betul uncle boleh makan setan ngan mak dier tu sekali...Err...encik mogen, awak kunyah ubi pon dah menakotkan hantu setan...hihihik...(erk...jangan kunyah sayer!!!)

    ReplyDelete
  7. haha, ingatkan cam cite hantu, lawak tol lah., tp kalo si anak setan tu cabar mkn dia cam ne?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Salam buat semua.

    Sdr. kulup,

    Praktikal sebab setan memang bodoh dan senang ditipu.

    uxop,

    Kita selalu kena berwaspada dengan tipu helah setan tapi memang dia tidak sebijak mana. Tanamkan di dalam hati kita yang kita lebih kuat dari setan.

    daddy cool,

    Tak perlu sebab setan sukakan kekotoran itu sebabnya Rasulallah mengajar kita kebersihan untuk menjauhkan setan.

    Sdr. mogen,

    Ugut bodoh dengan setanb ni saya dah dua kali berjaya. Saudara boleh cuba tetapi mesti tegas. Jangan was-was.

    Cuba tengok link ni.
    http://mountdweller.blogspot.com/2008/06/peristiwa-berjalan-di-tempat-yang-sama.html

    Kirana,

    Uncle bukan terror. Mana mungkin uncle makan setan. Saja uncle temberang nak tipu dia.. he.. he..
    Kan setan ni bodoh.

    Azlin,

    Terima kasih di atas kunjungan anda ke blog yang goblok ini.

    Kalau dia cabar uncle suruh makan dia, uncle suruh dia keluar dulu baru uncle boleh makan dia. Biasanya dia akan keluar sebab nak menunjukkan dia berani. Jadi bila dia keluar orang sakit akan sembuh.

    Kan setan kena tipu lagi..

    ReplyDelete
  9. Salam pck...da lama lalu lalang kat blog ni cuma baru hari ni nk tinggalkan komen n link blog ni..

    Bab halau2 pelesit dalam badan ni qaseh dah pernah tgk banyak kali..ada yang btl2 real.ada jugak yang main2 smp kena pecahkan lantai marmar,katanya benda tu ada ditanam bawah lantai tu..Tak tau lah betul ke tidak..tapi yang paling qaseh benci bomoh yang suka tipu..Nenek qaseh mengalami skt lutut..berpuluh tahun lamanya..banyak ikhtiar sdh d buat..tapi kebanyakannya hanyalah tipu..panggil datang rumah smp 5 6 kali..ada yg suruh korek lubang,ada yang suruh pecah dinding..ada yg kata buang tiang seri..ntah..lama2 qaseh rasa mcm smua ni tipu helah bomoh2 yg nk kaut keuntungan la..Arghhh..

    *Paling qaseh x boleh lupa kejadian halau pelesit dalam badan saudara qaseh.perempuan.dia punya silat mmg btl2 cun lah lawan ustazah tu..macam klaka pulak..x penah2 reti silat tiba2 boleh bersilat..hemmm...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Agaknya kalau sembelih dia kurang sikit takut. Tapi, bila diugut makan, dia tak berani amik risiko. Pakai akal jugak setan ni.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tau tak macamana nak tau dalam badan kita ada orang menumpang atau tak? saje je tanya. Sekurang-kurangnya bila naik bas, boleh share bayar ngan dia. (gurau je)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Salam Saudara,

    First time dalam hidup saya dengar ada orang berani makan setan, makan bukan seko, dengan mak setan sekali.

    Saudara Mountdweller, Banyak ilmu saudara. Alhamdulillah, kalau dapat menuntut sikit bagus juga.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A'kum semua sahabat.

    Qaseh,

    Memang banyak Bomoh/Dukun penipu. Kononnya handal dan letak syarat itu dan ini. Di akhirnya duit habis penyakit tidak baik-baik pun. Pakcik Pun tidak percaya pada dukun yang ilmu entah apa-apa tetapi Pakcik percaya kepada Pengamal Tarekat atau Tasauf yang hanya bergantung kepada pertolongan Allah. Allah kata sembuh, sembuhlah dan begitulah sekiranya ditakdirkan sebaliknya. Mereka ini tidak akan meletakkan apa-apa syarat dan juga tidak ada upah/bayaran. Tolong dengan ikhlas kerana fardhu kifayah dan Lillahi Taala. Kita kena tahu bezakan.

    Arryani,

    Setan sebenarnya bodoh, dia akan memperbodohkan kita sekiranya kita tunduk/takut padanya.

    Tentang kita ada penumpang atau tidak tu, uncle tak tahu dan tak pandai tetapi kalau uncle dekat dengan orang yang ada Penumpang kekadang uncle dapat tahu dari rasa dan gerak hati. Kekadang tu tak tahu juga tapi biasanya orang ini akan takut bila berhadapan dengan uncle. Tang tambang tu jangan risau dia ni kaki penipu, ke mana dia pergi pun tak pernah bayar tambang.

    Sdr. Mohd. Sofi,

    Perkataan nak makan setan tu saya tidak rancang, cuma bila dah setan tu degil dan banyak dalih saya naik "hot". Jadi ugutan tu keluar secara spontan.

    Tentang ilmu tu jangan salah sangka. Saya bukannya banyak ilmu cuma saya amalkan ayat-ayat quraan yang diajar oleh arwah Ayah dan Zikir-Zikir yang saya terima daripada arwah Tok Guru saya. Di samping itu kita hendaklah buang "keakuan" serahkan diri kepada yang Maha Kuasa. Insya Allah setan akan tunduk.

    ReplyDelete
  14. hanis,

    itulah bila dikenangkan uncle sendiri pun tergelak.

    ReplyDelete
  15. salam uncle...
    thanks bg informasi ni...
    nenek sy pernah diserang pelesit, org yg dengki anto...dah berubat, ustad tu ubatkan nenek a pagar nenek dr gangguan pelesit lg...tp mcmana dgn rumah kami yang selalu didatangi pelesit?risau akan ggu org lain pulak...mcmana nak pgr rumah tu..

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